Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
