She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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