My nipple is on Facebook.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
