I want to have your abortion
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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