Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
