There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
