this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think im going to throw up on grandma
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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