have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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