I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
