My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
