She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
