Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
