He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
