Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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