but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
