I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
