it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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