you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
