I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize