He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
