Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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