I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
