I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
