I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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