it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
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sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Houston, we have a squirter
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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