it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize