Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
