i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
