I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
