party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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