uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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