I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
