Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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