:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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