dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
