He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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