If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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