can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
