Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
