found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
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I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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