The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
