Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
