My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
