Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
