I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
