Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
