you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
