i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
