Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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