I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
