hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
