If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
