a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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