Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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