Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
