drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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