Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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