I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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