She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize