The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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