Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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