Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
