therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
