Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
