Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
