Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have tasted many bathrooms
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
