Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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