I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
